conversation basics

 

hey guys, so we started the conversation, now how do we keep it going? well ideally we want it to progress organically but failing that here are some pointers. you don't want to get into 20 questions or “interview mode” so to avoid this we use statements. the basic formula is statement-question-reply-statement-question-reply etc. so you make a statement, ask her a question related to the statement, wait for a reply then make a statement about her reply and ask a question related to the statement about her reply. so what is the first statement in each new conversation thread? i suggest something your passionate about (you will also want to use your passions to relate to her emotions but we will get into that later) so as an example conversation we will use one of my passions, karaoke. and we will make the girl rather untalkative to show how this works with the minimum of feedback (if she's giving lots of feedback let her do most of the talking and reduce your input. again we will cover this later) and to show the formula we will use s; for statement q; for question and r; for reply.

(me) s; i love karaoke. q; do you sing? (her)r; no. (me)s; well i love singing. it makes me feel alive. q; so what makes you fell alive? (her)r; not much. (me)s; come on. the feeling i get standing on stage gives me such a rush. q; there must be something like that for you? (her)r; no.(me)s; well that no way to live life. q; so what do you do when you go out? (her)r; not a lot. (me)s; well there's no point in going out if your going to do nothing. q; what did you do the last time you went out? (her)r; i went dancing. (me)s; and you said there's nothing you like to do. dancing is fun. q; tell me about that?

obviously its unlikely you will find someone that hard to talk to if there into you, but you get my point. and once you get them talking about something there passionate about, its time to become the good listener. the basic trick here is listen to what she's saying, repeat or rephrase something she said then ask her to elaborate. such as, so you went to France on your holiday. that must have been fun, tell me more. or, so she borrowed your favourite jacket and hasn't given it back. what are you going to do? so if you can get her to do most of the talking she will think your a great conversationalist and there's less chance of you putting your foot in your mouth.

finally there's building rapport. obviously if you have things in common, that helps a great deal but the other way to build commonality's is to use common emotions. so if she's into cooking and your into karaoke (i really do love karaoke lol) what do they have in common? well the answer is how they make you feel. so you might say, your really into cooking what's it like when you try a new recipe? i know when i try singing a new song i get really nervous I'm going to mess it up but if it turns out good i feel great at expanding my repertoire. when talking about emotions it triggers memories and you start to feel them so try to stick to positive ones. so that's small talk, next time we will work on your sense of humour that women say they want you to have. till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

dangerous.