do i amuse you?

 

hey guys, the funny thing about being funny is that too much isn't funny. a sharp rapier wit like Oscar wilde is good. jumping on double entendres like a carry on movie is fine and comic banter is also ok. telling joke after joke like her own personal stand up comedian is not. making her groan at jokes will not make her groan in the bedroom so remember being funny is not doing funny.

both comedy and attraction are about building tension and work in the same way so as long you have attraction you don't have to be Doug Stanhope to make her laugh hence the fact that twilight loving teen girls think Dane cook is funny. but it also works the other way hence Adam Sandler gets laid. the trick is to be naturally funny so don't search desperately for something funny to say but don't stop yourself saying something funny just because you think its not that good, you should never do someone else's thinking for them.

well onto how to be naturally funny. this is basically improv comedy and there are lots of places on the internet and improv classes everywhere but the first rule of improv is the most important and that is “yes, and” or agree then elaborate. the choices for elaborate are to take to the extreme, the absurd or in an unexpected direction. this also works for insults so as an example of the three lets say your talking to a girl and a bloke walks up and says your gay, your choices are. (extreme) absolutely I'm thinking about your cock right now. hopefully this girl can change me and put me back on the straight and narrow. (absurd)of course but only for doughnuts, then again aren't we all gay for doughnuts especially the ones with sprinkles. (change direction) you already knew that. don't you remember paying me £20 to blow you in the bathroom? although with a dick that small i should have given you a discount.

then there are the shit tests like a woman saying you only want to get in her knickers. (extreme)absolutely. lets go then. (absurd) yes. they might be a stretch but they would go lovely with my camisole. (change direction) your only saying that because you want to get in my pants. what kind of boy do you take me for at least buy me a drink first.

so you get the general idea. go out there and have fun with it, just don't sue me for any slaps received if you mess it up. remember i already told you its about mind-set. if your having fun, there having fun. if you get slapped its your fault for being in your own head. till next time guys be cool and stay sexy.

dangerous.

conversation basics

 

hey guys, so we started the conversation, now how do we keep it going? well ideally we want it to progress organically but failing that here are some pointers. you don't want to get into 20 questions or “interview mode” so to avoid this we use statements. the basic formula is statement-question-reply-statement-question-reply etc. so you make a statement, ask her a question related to the statement, wait for a reply then make a statement about her reply and ask a question related to the statement about her reply. so what is the first statement in each new conversation thread? i suggest something your passionate about (you will also want to use your passions to relate to her emotions but we will get into that later) so as an example conversation we will use one of my passions, karaoke. and we will make the girl rather untalkative to show how this works with the minimum of feedback (if she's giving lots of feedback let her do most of the talking and reduce your input. again we will cover this later) and to show the formula we will use s; for statement q; for question and r; for reply.

(me) s; i love karaoke. q; do you sing? (her)r; no. (me)s; well i love singing. it makes me feel alive. q; so what makes you fell alive? (her)r; not much. (me)s; come on. the feeling i get standing on stage gives me such a rush. q; there must be something like that for you? (her)r; no.(me)s; well that no way to live life. q; so what do you do when you go out? (her)r; not a lot. (me)s; well there's no point in going out if your going to do nothing. q; what did you do the last time you went out? (her)r; i went dancing. (me)s; and you said there's nothing you like to do. dancing is fun. q; tell me about that?

obviously its unlikely you will find someone that hard to talk to if there into you, but you get my point. and once you get them talking about something there passionate about, its time to become the good listener. the basic trick here is listen to what she's saying, repeat or rephrase something she said then ask her to elaborate. such as, so you went to France on your holiday. that must have been fun, tell me more. or, so she borrowed your favourite jacket and hasn't given it back. what are you going to do? so if you can get her to do most of the talking she will think your a great conversationalist and there's less chance of you putting your foot in your mouth.

finally there's building rapport. obviously if you have things in common, that helps a great deal but the other way to build commonality's is to use common emotions. so if she's into cooking and your into karaoke (i really do love karaoke lol) what do they have in common? well the answer is how they make you feel. so you might say, your really into cooking what's it like when you try a new recipe? i know when i try singing a new song i get really nervous I'm going to mess it up but if it turns out good i feel great at expanding my repertoire. when talking about emotions it triggers memories and you start to feel them so try to stick to positive ones. so that's small talk, next time we will work on your sense of humour that women say they want you to have. till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

dangerous.

starting a conversation

 

ok guys lets talk (pun intended), your cool,calm and confident with a mischievous smile behind your eyes. your suited, booted and looking fine, when across the way you notice a drop dead gorgeous honey. your eyes lock, you give that knowing smile  and nod. she returns the smile and looks down shyly. oh its game on, you cross the room to where she stands. you open your mouth and…

now what? what clever chat up line do you use here? well here's the #1 best opening line ever. are you ready for it? are you sure? well here it goes. hi! you can also use hello or pleased to meet you if you prefer but the first line out of your mouth should be a basic greeting with an offered hand for a hand shake. when you bump into your friend do you go straight into conversation or do you say hey mate first? usually followed by how's it hanging? well the same applies here just moderated to who you are so if your more cultured you might say hello miss (offer hand) how are you this morning/ evening (when she shakes it) or if your more “street” you might go wassup babe (offer hand) how ya doin? (when she shakes it) just remember that she doesn't know you yet so use a simple greeting to make her comfortable before you begin to chat her up. now there's a chance she will begin the conversation from there and if so go with it. if not we go to the reason for being there.

i don't know the actual statistics and cant be arsed to look them up as there not important to the point (look them up yourself if your that curious) but a study was done where someone asked people if he could have a seat on the subway and most of them refused. then he asked the same amount of people but added a reason, saying can i have a seat i have a bad leg. and most people gave him a seat. then he tried it again adding a silly reason, asking can i have a seat i have a nose. and amazingly most people gave him a seat again. so most people will go along with you as long as you give them a reason, any reason! of course we’re all about honesty but the point here is you don't have to think of something clever just honest, and chances are she will go along with it. for instance, i saw you look at me and i thought we shared a moment so i just had to come talk to you. or, i had to come talk to you as your the sexiest bird I've seen all night etc. after that you have a choice between a double bind (giving her two choices, both in your favour) like, so shall we leave now or have another drink first? or a qualifier (asking a question that gets her to prove herself to you) like, so i know your good looking but are you interesting? depending on how the interaction is going so far. if its Luke warm double bind, if she's really into you qualify. if she goes along with either approach proceed to conversation. if she rejects your approach but doesn't walk away its time to test that new confidence, grab your balls and not back down or apologise. if its a quiet rejection like, I'm sorry but i have a boyfriend. then you say something polite but not apologetic like, that's a shame but i suppose we can just be friends as long as you don't mind the fact that i still want to fuck you. if on the other hand she gets all melodramatic and says something like, i cant believe you said that! then its game on. ramp it up and don't back down, for example using the double bind above. so that's another drink first. ok, but your buying. once the playing is over, if she starts to go along with you move to conversation. well now you know how get to the conversation, what do you say in it? I'm not going to tell you till next time. so till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

dangerous.

looking your best

 

OK, guys, just because looks don't matter doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort. Being a slob sends out many bad signals, so clean yourself up a bit. Don't go the full metrosexual as I find them very questionable but at least make sure you're washed and are wearing clean clothes and shoes (women notice shoes and fingernails which is why they're obsessed with buying shoes and painting their nails) also make some effort to diet and exercise, you don't have to be a giant steroid freak but a little effort to get in a bit better shape helps you feel better about yourself (remember mind-set about loving yourself) and makes you a more sexually viable option to women. You don't have to be a Greek god to be healthy, you can be underweight and healthy (see swimmers) or overweight and healthy (see rugby players) as long as you don't look like you'd drop dead of exhaustion tying your shoes. So before getting dressed brush your teeth, have a bath or shower remembering to scrub your nails then tidy up your facial hair and add a bit of aftershave (not pheromones they're bullshit) but don't over do it, a little goes a long way and smelling like you had a bath in the stuff is way worse than not wearing any at all.

Now on to what to wear. This is not my strong point I admit as I tend to dress a bit funny or as some might call it peacocked but unlike what some others will tell you this is NOT necessary! In fact, remember, we are being honest. I wear silly hats because I like them, and it lets people know I'm a little eccentric. If you're a more normal person than me then dress normal, your clothes should represent who you are and who you want. I happen to like girls with pink hair and tattoos, but if you want a nice girl you can take home to mum, don't wear silly hats. So here are the 3 options on sorting out your wardrobe. 1 wear what you like and what makes you feel good, this is honest and helps your confidence. 2 look at the types of girls interested in and see what the fellas they're with are wearing, Goths tend to hang out with Goths and suits tend to hang out with suits. 3 get some female friends to take you shopping, no one can tell you if an item you're wearing makes you look good to females your age better than, well, females your age. Then make sure your clothes are clean and pressed, unless you're looking for a grunge chick (see #2 above) and remember to pick an outfit closest to where you are going (you're not going to wear your rave shirt to the office or your suit to the rave) and although I said don't peacock unless you are a weirdo like me, but there's nothing wrong with a talking point for women to comment on like a nice watch or necklace.

Now you look great, some woman likes what she sees, you take her home and your place looks like a bomb site. She turns around and leaves. Remember the boy scout motto, be prepared. Before leaving the house, always be ready for success. Do you have a pen, notebook and telephone for giving numbers or making plans to hook up at a later date? Do you have breath spray and condoms in case you end up back at her place? Did you tidy up your house, change the sheets on your bed, sort out some chick friendly DVDs or a seductive playlist on your iTunes and put a nice bottle of white wine in the fridge along with some fresh bacon and eggs in case you bring her home? The only thing worse than going out to meet women and having no luck is going out to meet women, meeting one, bringing her back to your shithole and her turning to you and saying I've just remembered I've got to get up early tomorrow, goodnight. Then never hearing from her again. So to recap, look nice, smell nice and be prepared. Now we have covered all the non-verbal stuff, next time I guess we should begin to talk about talking. Till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

Dangerous.

touching

 

Hey guys, it's time to learn the subtle art of touching without being creepy. As with eye contact, hopefully your new mind-set has started improving this area of your life, but if you're still an introvert with your hands in your pockets you're going to have a tough period of readjustment.

First off, the difference between the creepy guy and the friendly hugger is the hugger touches everyone with no pre-thought behind it, which is going to be a problem while you're learning it but will help you no end when it finally becomes natural. So start off light by learning to shake hands or high five people you meet and once you're comfortable with that move on to positive reinforcement. If someone makes you laugh give them a pat on the back, if they give you a compliment touch them lightly on the arm when you thank them and if you friendly rib them when you say just kidding give men a light punch in the arm and women a hug. Some people also find it helpful to talk with their hands more to make touching more natural.

Once being more hands on becomes part of you, it will make escalating things sexually much faster and easier. Anything she already was comfortable with is fine to do again, so just remember to always press forward and don't retreat unless you make her uncomfortable and even then just retreat to the last point she was comfortable then press forward again once she's more relaxed with you. Personally I believe touching should progress situationally and naturally, but if you insist on a step-by-step guide, look up v

Vin de Carlos escalation ladder. So now we've sorted out the big 3  non-verbal communications your brain has to work on, next time just because you don't have to be great looking doesn't mean you shouldn't be looking great, so it's time to scrub up nice. Till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

dangerous.

eye contact

 

Hey guys, never underestimate the importance of good eye contact. The eyes are not only the windows to the soul, but also the front door to her underwear. If you have been practising your mind-sets to be an honest confident leader your body language including eye contact should have already improved but as it's so important I thought we should go ahead and give it a final tune up.

We will start with the mechanics. Don't look away first and don't look down at the floor (you can do the down and up checking her out, but ideally that's after she breaks first eye contact) when your eyes lock smile and nod while keeping the lock if she looks up in disgust shrug and ignore. If she looks to the side she has no opinion of you yet try again later. If she holds your gaze, the game is on, walk over whilst still holding the gaze (this may take some practice) and start a conversation. If she looks down and smiles, ding ding ding, we have a winner! She's attracted to you, get in there quick. Also while talking you will still want a lot of eye contact but don't try and stare in both eyes at once and don't dart between eyes, pick one eye and stick with it (some people think the left eyes best, but I have no proof to back that up still since you have to pick an eye anyway, why not) now be warned there's a reason mind-sets went before eye contact. I made the mistake of going all out with eye contact before working on my inner self and more than once got called the weird starry guy, remember your eyes tell someone a lot more than where you're looking, which brings us to our next section.

I can see what you're thinking. As well as a strong gaze, you need the right thought going on behind the eyes. If all your thinking is please look away first then you're in deep manure, if you're thinking i wanna sex you up your half way there, if you're thinking I know you want me you nearly got it but if your thinking stop picturing me naked you dirty minx then bingo, a strong enough frame of you believing she's trying to seduce you, and you can get her to believe it too. So remember strong eye contact and the right thought can do wonders before you've even crossed the room to meet her, but once you do cross the room we get to the third non-verbal, yes in my next post it's time to get in touch with touching. Till then guys  be cool and stay sexy.

Dangerous.

mind-sets 2

 

Welcome back guys, as promised here's the positive mind-set section. Here we will be covering confidence, leadership and brutal honesty with her and ourselves. Just remember these mind-sets  are the extremes and are for people lacking in these areas to help them shift their wrong thinking, but as with everything in life, you can have too much of a good thing. If you become a vain, egomaniacal dictator who tells fat women to go on a diet, you've gone too far.

So what is confidence? Well, basically it's believing in yourself and not seeking validation from others. Don't think what can I do to impress her but what can she do to impress me, you should always believe she wants you (it doesn't have to be true but believe it anyway) as long as you love yourself there's no reason she shouldn't love you too. Stop worrying what others think of you, as all they're doing is worrying what others think of them. So remember you love you, all the women want you and all the men want to be you, so any rejection you get is just people intimidated by your awesomeness and is their problem. So to recap confidence, I love me, I'm going to be me, and I'm not going to change me to please you so if you don't like it goodbye, and it was nice to meet you. It's my reality, and you're just living in it.

Next up is leadership. I'm all for equality, but a real man leads. You make the decisions, others get a say, but the final choice is yours. Time to be the man with a plan, stop asking and start telling (just remember guys no means no, if she doesn't want to go with your plan politely accept her refusal then take your attention away from her.) don't say excuse me would you like to dance, say come on lets dance. Don't say what do you fancy for dinner, say I'm in the mood for a curry, come with me. If she asks you to go shopping with her don't for any reason on earth say whatever you say dear, say that sounds like a good idea I needed a new shirt anyway, and you can help me pick one out (if she does help you pick one out remember any reason on earth above, get her to pick a few shirts then you pick the one of her choices you like best.) in case your worried about making the wrong choices it is more important to be certain and decisive than right, what to when your choices are wrong are covered in the next section…

Honesty, a rather foreign idea between men and women nowadays, but if you don't ask, you don't get. If you think she has a great butt, don't tell her she has a lovely smile. If she accuses you of just trying to get in her pants tell her she's absolutely right, and if you do something stupid tell her well that was stupid. Always be ready to call out the elephant in the room. So now you're pointing out your own mistakes before others  can and telling a woman why you really like her and what you want from her (just try to be eloquent guys, you look pretty let's have sex is probably not your best choice of lines but then again if she's horny enough it might still work) we get to the other side of the coin. It's not necessary to agree with every thing she says to score brownie points, in fact quite the opposite. Some of my most interesting evenings have come from arguments with women (that's arguments as in reasoned debates from differing standpoints, not I must stress yelling in each other's faces. That can work too, but you really don't want to hang out with girls like that plus you're Mr calm and polite without a care in the world why the hell are you yelling?) if she puts forward a good case feel free to calmly stand corrected but if not you are a rock that will not be moved just so she can get her way, in the event of a stalemate just agree to disagree. So now we have your brain sorted out there may be more mind-sets to come, but that's enough to be going on with and is the biggest of the 3 main non-verbal communications next time we cover the other biggie, eye contact. Till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

Dangerous.

mind-sets

 

OK guys, time to rid yourselves of some wrong thinking. Let's start with the basic lies you have been told. Women DO think about and want sex as much as we do, maybe more. No, it's not necessary to buy her affection with chocolates, flowers or alcohol. And finally, you don't have to trick a woman into your bed.

Next we get on to those pesky half-truths. Yes, women do like bad boys, but not because they are arseholes, it's because they have the mind-sets that nice guys don't.  They're not needy or clingy and tend to be honest about their desires. They tell a woman what they want without begging or pleading and don't care what her reaction might be as there are plenty more fish in the sea. Which it is quite possible for you to do without being a complete git by displaying…

Half-truth number 2 being confident and funny. Confident is 100% true, it's the funny that trips guys up. Witty comebacks, innuendo and playful ribbing are fine, but telling jokes all night and being a clown for her entertainment are definite no noes. Now for the not being a git part, where bad boys succeed and arseholes fail is that an arsehole never complements a woman. Where bad boys succeed and nice guys fail is he gives the complement without looking for something in return. Nice guys are always careful what they say as they are worried about her reaction or are hoping for a compliment in return (see needy above) but the proper thing to do is be honest and not worry about what she does next, if you think she has nice tits don't tell her you like her eyes and wait to see what she does next, tell her she has nice tits and keep talking about whatever your talking about.

Now for half-truth number 3 and it's the biggie, BE YOURSELF. I bet you're thinking to yourself I've been doing that, and it hasn't worked, but have you? What they don't tell you is to be your best self by being honest and straight forward. Don't lie and pretend you're something you're not, learn to be something better than you are,  we have started to cover positive mind-sets here, but I will go into them more fully in my next post. Till then guys be cool and stay sexy.

Dangerous.